. . on the breeze
some golden tea and a fresh croissant, some melon and strawberries and reading the end of 'problem in pollensa' by agatha christie begins the day. i enjoy the sparrow song in the courtyard and the rare warmth that has come to here in chilly scotland- though not without some reminder of her icy antics :- her brusque and sudden blasts that blow in with an awkwardness that ruffles you all up in a mess of hair and papers and blankets blowing everywhere . .
lately I have had a malaise, and some effects of a broken engagement. not a formal engagement such as to wedlock, but like how the cold interrupts the peace of the engagement of a warm day. like how connection is lost or unable to be established. like how some delightful ambiences, that though profound and sublime, are fated to catch a cold too soon and blow all the sweetness of the engagement of the warmth away! such encounters feel like loss; and as an agatha christie character noted, such a loss in the heart can feel like a deep loneliness; it leaves one in a suspension . . and aware of a happening that seems inevitable and unavoidable . . and irrevocable .
. . on the kitchen counter
the sea shells take center stage as I eat the continental breakfast; and beside my tea cup and croissant i browse these elements of the senses on the old phone - words and images and sounds that come that feel embracing, similar to how it feels when someone 'gets you' in a moment with no words, or when a few words of a poem seem to recognize your secret. it is also like how the curving hedge will give me its shelter this morning when I go outside, against the mundane, so that the blue and the birdsong of sky, can again come in close, and be experienced as close again .
the morning brought images of grass and an old french song, (parlez-moi d'amour) and words from another author's blog about that song and the meaning of the french words gentillesse and noblesse du coeur that whsiper some loving-warmth to the mystery.